One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice-- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do-- determined to save the only life you could save.
Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there’d be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you’ll see these “setbacks” as giant leaps forward, only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment.
Remain calm, all is within reach; all you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek.
:: Jackson Kiddard ::
{holy moly. these words just went straight to my heart. found via roots of she.}
On Sunday, I switched off. After I woke and checked the necessary things that I wanted to check, I put my phone on silent, on used my computer minimally, and then proceeded to stay in my pajamas all day long.
It was glorious.
Balancing my on-line life with my off-line life has felt especially challenging lately. I find myself getting sucked into blogs and Twitter and the Goddess Circle and Pinterest and Facebook and before I know it, my entire night is gone and it's time for bed and I wonder what happened.
Does this happen to you, too? It can be so frustrating. But at the same time, it's kind of revelatory for me. So much inspiration! So many things I want to do! I remember a time in my life when nothing excited me, there was no inspiration, there was no investment in my tiny world. So to now be struck with too much to do, well -- it's a balancing act, but a really, really good balancing act. Finding that balance between both worlds (because my on-line life has become so important in more ways that I ever thought) is what I'm striving for these days -- learning how to both take in the inspiration and connection while still remaining present in my physical world.
So on Sunday, I savored my time. I made tea. I did some sewing and crocheting. I went for a long walk in the snowy woods. I listened to podcasts. I wrote in my journal. I cleaned and showered and didn't drive my car anywhere. At the end of the day, I responded to texts and checked my email. And then I went to bed. And you know what?
It was exactly what I needed.
But now, in the days afterwards, the balancing act ensues. Limiting Twitter to twice a day, only reading blogs on my computer in the evenings, checking email just morning, noon, and night instead of every time my phone notifies me of each one -- these are my goals. I know they won't happen right away. But working them into my daily life, slowly, bit by bit, is making me happy, making me satisfied with my awareness and consciousness of my lifestyle.
And I think more switch-off days are in my future.
: We can do whatever we want for however we want with whomever we want. Freedom!
: I can wake up late to a quiet space on the most comfortable air mattress I've ever slept on and before I'm even fully awake, there are green smoothies being blended and waffles in the making and a movie already starting.
: We can stay out at a friend's birthday party until the bar lights come on and people start to get kicked out and there's still cabs outside to take you home. With people on the sidewalk. In my town at 3am, there are no bars, no people, no sidewalks, and no cabs.
Still catching up around here, but making time for dreaming and scheming and creating, too.
First order of business? Create a vision board to hang in my bedroom, to double/triple/quadruple my intentions of seeing dreams come true in 2012.
Step One : Get a basic bulletin board from your local office supply store. (Or flea market, or basement -- or re-purpose one!) I found this one at Office Depot for just $10.
Step Two : Find a pretty piece of fabric. (This came from my old college DIY drapes.) Cut a piece so it just barely overlaps the inside edges of your board frame. (And, as is in my case, is entirely crooked -- oops.)
Step Three : Fold under the raw edges and secure in place with push pins, staples, or hot glue. (I wasn't sure the hot glue would work here and, honestly, didn't want to go dig mine out. So push pins it was!)
Step Four : Adorn with images of all things inspire-worthy, that remind you of happiness and possibility when you look at it.
Step Five : Hang in a central location to be reminded often. I hung mine at the foot of my bed, to see every morning :) (Bonus if you have a cute cat to cozy things up a bit.)
Right now, my board's still a work in progress. I wanted to have it filled before I took photos and posted to the blog, but then realized if I waited until it was perfect, I might be waiting awhile. So here it is, in progress and imperfect! So far, my photos are for a sweet pretty home to call my own (with an added black puppy! See it?), the solace and beauty of being free and independent, a tribe of women, and a one true love.
Do you have a vision board? Plan on making one? I'd love to see!
Today I pulled into the driveway, bringing my car to a stop in my usual spot as I ended my podcast and switched off the headlights and heat and turned the ignition, pulling out the key.
It was dark, and I realized my car had become bathed in bright moonlight. I instinctively inhaled deeply and let my hands rest in my lap, releasing the keys and dropping my shoulders and exhaling loudly. It was then that I realized.
I need this. I need this.
You see, since Christmas, I've felt unraveled. Undone. Disconnected. I had gotten swept up in the busyness and chaos and obligations of the holidays and, somewhere in there, forgotten that I had needs.
Tonight, I remembered. These things I need.
I need quiet moments beneath the moon.
I need wholesome, nutritious foods.
I need alone time, every single day.
I need to hear the words of inspirational women.
I need lots of water, probably more than most.
I need to give myself time and space to take deep breaths.
I need to be creative.
I need deep, human connection.
I need movement, in some way.
When these things are remembered, I feel most connected. Filled up. At peace with myself.
These are not things that I want, or things that I need simply for happiness or contentment --
they are needed for my existence.
What is it that you need for your existence? Share in the comments if you feel called :)
I stood in front of the mirror at work, alone, determined to fix my hair into some semblance of a style, prepared to remain in that bathroom until some kind of satisfaction for my appearance was garnered (or forced). I gripped my headband between my teeth as my hands worked, hurrying to smooth and coax my hair so the headband could be replaced and I could get back to my classroom.
It wasn't until I finished fixing my hair and reached for the headband that I realized -- I had been holding onto that plastic thing between my teeth so tightly, so rigidly, so violently, that as my jaw released I felt the tension, the stress, the aggression I had been holding in that grip. I looked at my face in the mirror and heard myself say aloud: "Whoa."
{Sometimes, a blogging silence is so needed. These days, I've felt so much overwhelm and anxiety and days packed full of things, that keeping my head above the water felt way more important than keeping up with Ruth Writes. But finally, I'm popping back in with a small little post. Perhaps that's where this blog is headed in the new year -- tiny little snippets of posts, reserved only for the really good bits, instead of lengthy fluffy posts that feel hard and unauthentic. You know?}
A few quiet moments from yesterday's woods walk, with our long-term dog-sitting friend Sieta.
I think I may have nature-amnesia -- it always feels so restorative and healing to step outside, and yet I always seem to forget it.
I found Leonie back in February 2011, at a particular time when I was having a dark night of the soul. I don't think I'd ever felt so low. And lost. I'd dragged myself out of the shower, blotted my tears, and curled up into a ball in bed, totally disconnected with my world and disillusioned with life, feeling so much sorrow and hopelessness that I felt physical pain. I'll always remember that night. I clutched my newly-acquired smartphone with a death grip as I trolled Twitter (I had recently become enamored with it!), alone in the dark with just the glow of the screen. And that's when I found Goddess Leonie. The tears were long gone hours later once I'd read all four parts of her birth story, dug through archives, read every sidebar link, watched her videos and listened to her contagious laugh and felt her spirit. I felt her through the screen and across continents and seas and I truly believe: Goddess Leonie found me and helped me through that dark, dark night.
I just, got it, you know? It clicked. It felt right.
I needed more.
And so that April I took a big breath and decided to do something I'd never done before: I joined her online women's circle. Her Goddess Circle. I spent the money. I joined an online community. I braved my fears and began sharing bits of myself there, slowly. I tried out the meditations and dabbled in the e-courses and downloaded every poster possible.
I had no idea how much I'd fall for this thing.
And that's why I'm here, almost a year later, telling you all about it. It's changed my life in ways I couldn't even imagine, and I want to share it with everyone I know.
My favorite parts of the Circle:
The Radiant Goddess e-course. By far, the best one I've tried yet. I'm still listening to the meditations and making the recipes from that course. (In fact, I think I want to give it another go! They're always there for you, so if you want to do it again you absolutely can.)
The Circle Guide groups. Within the Circle, there are these smaller, more personal groups led by a Circle Guide designated by Leonie. It took me a really long to feel comfortable and safe enough to share in there, and having Goddess Sara's group was absolutely what eventually got me talking. And now, our little group has become so close -- I love those women. Also, there are threads for every possible topic you could think of -- this season, I even joined a holiday ornament swap.
There's this little video Leonie made, a little mini-workshop about protecting your energy that I recall at least once a week. There's no link for it, but I promise you -- once you join and watch it, you'll think totally differently about human interaction.
The 2012 Creating Your Goddess Year Workbook and Calendar is another bit that comes free with membership. It's practically worth the money in and of itself! I joined halfway through 2011 so never really fully filled out the 2011 Calendar, but this year I'm all about the 2012 one. I love it. LOVE it.
I'm just finishing up the Creative Goddess e-course now. It's a 6-week program, but I started it in August! Ha. I love that I can take my time with it and really dive into all the videos, meditations, and projects. I never really thought of myself as a creative being until doing the course -- it woke something in me, and now I can't think of any other way to be :)
And there are of course all the meditations. Some are long, some are only 4 minutes (I like to keep the shorter ones on hand on my iPod for quick pick-me-ups). There's a fabulous Divine Dreaming Meditation Kit that I've listened to more times than I can count. And the Releasing Fears meditation. And the Healing Rains one. Okay, they're all amazing.
All of these kits, workbooks, e-courses, meditations -- they're all available for download so you can keep them for whenever you need them! And as Goddess Leonie releases more products and genius creations, you automatically get access to them as a member of the Goddess Circle.
(And don't forget all of Leonie's free stuff. I have bookmarks upon bookmarks in my browsers of posts that just totally touched me. I watch Goddess TV whenever I feel like I need a little more connection. The How to Be a Morning Goddess Manifesto revolutionized my mornings. I've printed out countless posters and they've become my bedroom art. It's all magical.)
For only $99 a year, I couldn't say no. (And she's totally understanding and lets you do a $33/month payment plan, which was awesome.)
Hurray! My own little testimonial to Goddess Leonie and her fantastical Circle. I've wanted to write this for a long time. This is so, so important in my life now. That's why I want to share it with you. If you have any questions about the Circle, don't hesitate to email -- I love talking about it! If you're interested in joining, I'll see you there :)
There is a quiet stretch of highway winding its way through the mountains, running alongside rivers and railroad tracks,
where there is absolutely no signal.
No cell phone reception. No service to reach Pandora. Not even enough antenna strength to get in a single radio station.
For those three minutes as I drive along, twice a day to work and back, I breathe. I remember the world still exists even without constant connection. Sometimes I worry about getting a flat tire or breaking down on the side of the road and having to walk the long distance to the closest gas station (and in the rain and snow this worry is multiplied), but mostly
I'm able to love this small -- yet powerful -- part of my day.
